Written by For Veteran’s, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and more are especially debilitating. While we get through it, it’s important to have an idea what is going on. First off, you’re not crazy, and there is more than likely nothing physically “wrong” with you. You’re just as f’ed up as the rest of us.
That’s not to make light of your experience, nor to downplay what you are going through.
That is simply to say – we know it’s confusing, we know that it sucks, we have been through it too. More importantly, we want you to know that you are not alone.
Who is “We”? Every Combat Veteran, LEO, First Responder and more that has been through the same exact thing.
Second, I’m not a therapist, nor is this professional advice. You should seek professional help if needed, no question. What I am about to say took me about 15 years of learning and another 10 before that of going through it all. In other words, it took a lot to be able to write this today.
If I were to write a book, this would simply be one chapter from within it. It’s just an opinion formed after (a) going through it all myself, (b) helping thousands of Veterans over the years, (c) analyzing all of it with people smarter than me.
Just read the whole thing. If it makes any sense, just at least think about it.
There Was A Trigger
Prior to your panic/anxiety attack, something happened to trigger it. It was something extra stressful, something “emotional”, something that checked all the boxes for you personally.
Let’s explain it this way. Think about what happened June 14, 2025 for example. Democrats are once again destroying cities, burning American flags, and they have organized “No Kings” protests everywhere. For the rest of us, it’s not only Flag Day, it’s the celebration of the 250th Birthday of the US Army, and it’s President Trump’s Birthday! He is hosting the best Military parade that we have witnessed in many years!
That weekend had a whole mix of emotions for an America First Patriot!
There was a feeling of betrayal because of the crazies, and also a deep pride watching the parade that you rightfully earned because you sacrificed directly for this Country. You didn’t just post words of Patriotism on X, you lived it. You were in harms way for the greater good.
The parade may have even inspired thoughts of reenlistment and more! What it did do for a fact was brought up some memories. Good ones, bad ones, and maybe even some really bad ones. Freedom is not free and you paid for it directly. But, we still appreciated the parade and the showing of support from true Americans!
Basically, and for definition of this article, it was an “emotional” experience! If it was the Marine Corps Birthday Parade, I would have lost my sh*t! I would have been even more emotionally tied to it than I already was!
The parade also came with weight from Memorial Day too. That happened less than 3 weeks before the Parade. What did we experience that weekend? A whole lot of the same stuff. Betrayal, loss and more.
So, lots of emotions were building up.
Your Pack Was Already Full
Before your anxiety and/or panic attack occurred, your pack was already filled with heavy emotional stuff. Except as Veterans, our “pack” is different now. This pack isn’t on our back anymore, it’s in our heart’s and mind’s. And for us, it’s a similar burden as ole ALICE (some may remember her) just the same. Why is it a burden? Because a lot of us just don’t understand “emotions”.
Then post the parade (or similar emotional experience), something else specifically triggered you and it was yet again, emotional. More than likely it was something tied to you directly. It was like adding a 2nd pack while you’re still charging the hill with the first one fully loaded.
If I was talking to you right now, I would ask you to identify what this trigger was. Take a moment and try to identify it. It’s something that affects you directly.
Let’s continue.
Now you’ve got 2 packs filled with emotional stuff. You’ve probably been feeling pretty physically exhausted lately.
One thing that you did not do was stop everything and “process” the 160 pounds (2 packs) of emotions. Processing the emotions would have reduced the weight! No, instead you lugged around your 2 packs and went on about your day.
Here Comes The Lesson
Why am I talking about emotions? Because emotions are actually healthy. Emotions are what civilians have as a result of trauma. Emotions help them get through it. What? I know! Emotions used to be a liability. Matter of fact, not having any emotions often saved our butts! Oh boy, do I understand!
In terms of understanding these things called “emotions”, how far along am I personally? Let me put it this way, it was only a few years ago that I learned what being “touched” by something meant. So I get it, it’s like a whole nother language that doesn’t compute! Touched means “being moved or affected by something in an emotional way”.
This is why it’s important to talk to other Veterans that are further along on the journey than you are. We’ve learned a thing or two along the way. A little word of caution about people offering advice and trying to “help”.
Not every Veteran has the same experience with trauma, nor were some even exposed to trauma beyond boot camp. One size fits all does not apply here! Ask qualifying questions if you need to. What was your MOS? What Branch of Service were you in? Were you ever deployed? Were you in combat? While I appreciate our Brothers and Sisters helping with the basic stuff, when you’re at the panic/anxiety attack level, you need someone who has been there and successfully navigated it.
Trust is everything in the Military, even more so when asking for help.
The hard part about this particular journey is that you are the only one that can get through it. I can not do your journey for you, and you can not do mine. It may seem like a raw deal at the moment, but once you get further along it will make sense! I assure you, it will make sense.
So what do we have in place to help us along the way? In addition to each other, right along side you this whole time there has been a sort of “emotional bill collector”. He’s super nice at first because he only exists to help you. But, he speaks that other language that none of us understand; the language of emotions.
He doesn’t appreciate our busy lives with work and other things either. He just chimes in randomly whenever he feels like it. Except, it’s not actually random. When he chimes in, he thinks there is a real opportunity for you to heal.
When he’s around, we can tell. We often do things as distractions. Maybe go to friends houses, drink, stuff like that. Except over time, it’s just not as fulfilling as it used to be. To sum it up, those times you felt you needed a distraction, it was the emotional bill collector knocking.
Over the years he has repeatedly been asking you to process the emotions of your trauma. He wants you to cry about it. He wants you to try and understand the trauma better. But, you have to stare the trauma in the face to do so. It’s painful, but it’s actually healthy. “Processing” is the equivalent of “paying” an emotional bill (hence the “bill collector” reference). He wants you to stop feeling guilty (bill paid), stop being angry (bill paid), and more. He wants you to make peace with some things (bill paid), etc. You have to understand the trauma’s better (bill paid).
Just a reminder, this is why it’s important to talk to other Veterans that are further along on the journey than you are. We’ve learned a thing or two along the way.
Back to the panic/anxiety attack.
At some point during that trigger and with the 2 packs on, the emotional bill collector showed his nasty side! He is like “dude, I have been patient, I have tried and tried, and I have been nice”. Now he is like “wait a gd minute. You owe me MF”. Frankly, he’s pissed now.
What he wants is for you to pay some of the “emotional bills” (“process the emotions”) that are way overdue in order to heal yourself. Imagine having a “flat tire is coming in 10 seconds indicator” and you are able pull over safely. He feels the emotions are becoming too much and you might be about to crash.
But since you have yet to do anything about (no emotional bills paid), he is now raging pissed!
Back to our Memorial Day/Parade example, he said “look dude, the stage was set for you to do the work. I cannot always get the universe to conspire with me to create such an opportunity for you to heal. Can we process some emotional stuff”? Once again (after the parade), you’re like, naw, I’m good with my 2 packs on and Ill blame being exhausted on a case of the Monday’s (or something else).
Then your direct trigger happened and now he’s like “nope MF! I’m gonna make you feel like you’re having a heart attack. I’m gonna make you dizzy, nauseous and more. Then if you don’t stop and start paying an emotional bill, I’m going to make it worse”.
Still, you’re like, nope, I’m good. I’m not gonna process sh*t! He’s like “here comes the rest then MF!” Your chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it. You had trouble breathing, etc and panic set in like you were drowning. Even your training on controlling the panic couldn’t help you and boom! Flight or flight – enter your panic/anxiety attack.
You may have even went to the emergency room or other doctor. Except, the doctor said you are physically okay and nothing new is physically wrong. Maybe the doctor gave you something for anxiety.
You’ve sort of reset everything and the attack is gone. But now the emotional bill collector is lying in wait. And he’s still pissed, again. He is just trying to get you to process the emotions to help you. Processing the emotions will ultimately help you to heal deeply. Healing will also take some of the weight off the packs.
I’ve been you. That same panic/anxiety attack, etc. As a reminder, what I have said here took me about 15 years of learning and another 10 before that of going through it all to be able to write this. Do not take it with a grain of salt, think about it.
However, understand that I will never have another panic/anxiety attack again. You can be like this too. I’m not saying your PTSD goes away, I’m just saying that we can help some things by processing the emotions.
If this makes any sense and you want to talk to me, contact me and we can go into more detail. If it doesn’t make sense (yet) just think about it. Believe in yourself, you got this!
